Today is the anniversary of Ron's & my wedding. Our eleventh anniversary, in fact. It hasn't been the easiest year for us as a couple, and I wondered whether the anniversary this year would be moot.
It isn't. In fact, with the work we've been doing on our relationship, it is rather a celebration. A quiet celebration, but a celebration none-the-less. We've been doing our work, talking, taking responsibilities. Progressing.
Rather like eating healthier/loosing weight, it is a lifestyle change, to an extent. Making the right choices. Conscientiously making choices that are good for the relationship. The conscientious part is key. It is so easy to get in the place where accusations and "I told you so" live, but that is not a good place. What we are doing is about the future, not the past. I've had to put effort into that, some issues are harder to get there than others. Some things still hurt. It encourages me that to look towards that future, and deal with issues in that way feels more successful, like progress is getting made more than dwelling on the past hurts.
So, here's our anniversary. With actual hope for more.