Thursday, May 8, 2008

size and health

I'm a fat person. There, I've admitted to it. Said it out loud. It's nothing new; I've been called fat even before I was. There are many reasons why I'm fat from genetic to psychological and still it all boils down to the fact that I consume more calories than I expend on a daily basis. I like to eat and I don't like to exercise. I could place blame on any number of things, as people are wont to do these days, but I'm mature enough to realize the responsibility is mine, all mine. No one ever forced me to eat so that I would be fat. OK, yes there were those childhood sessions, few as they were, of "You will sit there until that liver is gone" Believe me, liver did NOT make me fat.

Now I've also been a pretty healthy person most of my life. The only time I checked into and stayed overnight in a hospital once I was sent home as an infant was when my daughter was born, almost 43 years later (even then I went home a day early). Sure I've had minor injuries, and sinus infections and flu. I've been to the Dr. I've had my wisdom teeth surgically removed. I even got stitches once. I know many, many people skinny or not who have a lot more health problems than I do. Still, doctors - especially the ones in fashion (or at least fashionable) magazines want to tell me how unhealthy I am. Over and over and over. I feel pretty fortunate that the doctor I have now is willing to treat my illnesses as such and not tie everything to being FAT. I know people who are not that lucky.

Besides, I'm not buying that fat = unhealthy line. You die a lot quicker from being too thin than you do from being too fat. I also don't buy into the idea that fat = ugly. And I think here the operative word is "buy." OK, I'm no beauty queen. Never was, never will be, has nothing to do with my size. I see women every day who make the point to me that thin does NOT mean beautiful, any more than any other one characteristic does. True beauty is a combination of so many qualities, some of which are truly carried on the inside.

That being ranted, I have a history of diabetes in my family, and my knees are starting to limit me, and I am being treated for high blood pressure. My health is catching up to my middle age, darn it! So, it is time for me to deal with some healthy habits, and build them up so that I like my life more. Some of those healthy habits will relate to eating, and what kinds of foods I should eat more of and some I should eat less of. While I know getting healthier will also equate to losing weight, THAT is not the end measurement I care about. I really don't care if I EVER weigh the number that chart says I should weigh. Come on, you know what chart I mean. Even if I weigh that little, I know without a doubt that my butt will still be big, and I wouldn't have the figure that other women that weight have. (I know which of my family members I'm built like.)

I've been on the South Beach Diet, and I'm planning to follow it again. I enjoyed the food, and I feel like it is a plan that is healthy over a long time. These are eating habits that I'm going to have to maintain, probably for the rest of my life so that I can have the life that I would like, and be able to be at least somewhat active with my daughter. I'll still be limited by my coordination, but hey, that's nothing new... Yes, I will check my weight each week, only once a week, for that downward trend, but I will not live or die, rejoice or mourn by those numbers. I refuse. Instead, I will share other positive observations now and again. I would also love to hear positive healthy news/feedback from anyone out there reading. Recipes that you enjoy, goals that you achieve... all those good things. I don't care if you are dieting, what helps you be mentally and physically healthy?

1 comment:

Fran said...

I'm heavier than Lillian, and I have low blood pressure, my cholesterol count is only slightly elevated and my blood sugar is fine. But people still give me The Look and The Talk about my weight, so I hear you.

Lillian, like you has family history of high blood pressure and diabetes, and do you know what has helped immensely, if you can do it?

Stop drinking coffee. Drink tea.

Seriously, for some people, the oils and caffiene in coffee are hazardous, but whatever's in tea, any kind of tea, actually helps. Her blood pressure's dropping, her sugar's stabilizing (we use organic sugar for everything now, and we're moving more and more to organic everything), and her moods are leveling out.

Little changes and baby steps, that's the only way. Diets don't work, in my opinion, because they're temporary. It's gotta be a lifestyle change or it does no good. And a lifestyle change that makes you miserable isn't a healthy trade-off, again in my opinion.