does it still count?

Well, I think I made a good choice today. It was a choice - basically - not to argue with someone. I think it was a good choice, although it was a difficult enough one that I'm obviously thinking about it still.

Some of my colleagues and I are taking a college course in teaching kids in their second language, basically. English as a Second Language endorsements will be required by our district in a few years, and the district is trying to encourage its teachers to get endorsed before the deadline so they don't have to look for new teachers. They offered us a series of four classes, one each semester, that would be offered by ENMU. Our district would pay for the tuition and the books. At the end of the four classes we would be eligible for that endorsement, without having to take the test for the endorsement. There are other ways to get the endorsement, one of which is taking a test for it.

Anyway, about 10 people from the school where I work signed up for this class. From the 10 people, two groups were made. One of the teachers who signed up, but then couldn't make it to that initial meeting because she is a coach, and it the season for that sport, made it into our group. The assignments for the class are mainly group assignments, and some of the group has been working on them for about five weeks now. Needless to say, she has not been to a group meeting. She's busy. Now, I don't say that sarcastically... she IS busy. Everyone in our group is a working adult, with personal, family and whatever other responsibilities we have. Still, taking the class is making a commitment to participate.

Negotiations are open. When do we meet? She's not there for the discussion. Those of us who are there figure out some options and pick one. She's not happy with it, but not everyone else can meet when she is available... and when others offer to meet with her at that time, she's a no-show. I've been posting our group work in school email to all members of the group to facilitate everyone being able to add comments and information, get some discussion going, whatever. She's made one comment. We're now working on the fourth of eight units. Over our fall break, we decided to meet. Again, by e-mail, I opened up negotiations for when and where... no response. As group leader, I made the "executive decision" of when and where, still indicating that there was room for negotiation/change of venue. She was - you guessed it - a no-show for that meeting as well. What is a group of adults to do? We e-mailed our professor about the situation. The e-mail was not angry, nor inflammatory, but did make it clear that we wanted our group members to participate and we were not willing to let her "have" our grade. I cc'ed a copy of the e-mail to her, as a courtesy, as I did not want to sneak or go behind her back or any of those things.

Today I got an e-mail from her that said it was not just her fault that she couldn't participate more. She was coaching. She was busy. She couldn't meet when we decided to meet. It was, I suppose, by implication, my fault. Well, we all know how that kind of accusation - even when merely implied - can set one off. It nearly did me. I had been sending her e-mails! I had tried to give her information on what we had been doing! sputter, sputter, sputter! Then I got a hold of myself. I decided that I wasn't going to get mad. OK, she was right, we hadn't been meeting when it was convenient for her. I don't have any idea when that IS, really, but then she really didn't seem to be getting into the negotiations very actively either. If that makes it partly my fault, then OK, I can own that. So, I didn't send her a scathing e-mail in return, with copies of e-mails asking for input on times and dates that had been sent out earlier. Of course, I also didn't turn into an idiot and accept full responsibilty for what someone else has chosen to do and not do.

As far as I'm concerned the issue - asside from this particular rant - is closed. I'm glad that I did not go off on her in a way that would escalate into lots of ugly drama, because, goodness knows, it could have happened. Now is the time to see if she either steps up and decides that she really doesn't have time for the class, and withdraws, or whether she just "drops out" of it, or if she bites the bullet and contributes to our group (or even joins a different group) and completes the class. I'm interested to see how the rest plays out. So now that I am done with my personal rant, does it still count that I didn't go off on her?