But first, let me mention that once again, Cake Wrecks nearly made me loose my train of thought... *shakes head... and I thought I had questionable taste sometimes.
So, the observation and realization were made this evening at dinner. We ate at one of those big chains, that includes a bar along with the restaurant. This particular one has the bar in a separate room from the dining room. There was one of those "loud" women in there. You know the kind. This one was a loud laugher, and evidently she was enjoying herself. Or, at least wanting those around her to think she was. After a little while it got to sounding more like a drunken overdone loud laugh to me. Still, my point is not to judge that woman, who would probably look at me and how I look/dress/act with haughty disdain. The point was, I didn't want to be in her place, flirting and drinking and overacting the "good time" at the bar.
I've never been that "social"animal, at ease with people that I barely knew. I don't flirt well, and sitll, at almost 50, tend to go "ewww" at all that mushy stuff. Well, lets just say I prefer my displays of affection to be private. And I'm not, NOT flirty and simpering. I'm more the wall flower. I sit back and observe. I see what people will do in situations where they could take advantage of someone or what they think they can get away with when "no-one"is looking. I realized this evening that I'm not even envious of that easy socialization in those situations any more.
Oh, sure, I enjoy my friends. I love my friends, and getting to spend time with them, do stuff, create stuff, talk talk talk, be silly, even let go. But it is OK, to take the time to create that friendship now. I'm not shopping for a mate, so I don't have to even think about flirting with strangers - or noticing that they may be flirting with me. Any casual friendship can be just that - casual. I think it means that in some ways, I've become more comfortable with who I am, and who I've always been. That realization, that she could have it all she wanted, and I didn't have to, was like a wave of relaxation across my shoulders.
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2 comments:
Okay, the castles were impressive, but the pirate with the dead body? Eeewww!
Not everybody can or should be the center of attention. Especially the ones who actively search for it, like the drunk lady. But I think that's rather a sign she's not happy with who she is.
How about that bride's dress form (?) wedding cake... that was...odd and kinda disturbing.
Exactly. But I wasn't always in a place where I could understand that. Now I can see that for what it is, AND be happy not to be in that spotlight, and still be happy.
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